2: The One With The Kidnapped Student

February 2017

So I was hanging out with Jen at her work, because magazines are shiny and her work is a hell of a lot more interesting than hanging out at Prettyboy's work, and there was this lady who kept winning awards for enormous produce and THAT WAS SUSPICIOUS. Not that mortals can't make enormous produce, but this was pretty damn enormous vegetables. Carrots the size of your forearm style of thing. Obviously we (and by we, I mean Jen) needed to go and interview her about how the heck she was getting her carrots so damn big and did it work on other organic things too, because if it did she could make a killing.

Prettyboy worked out that Produce Girl was actually Nerd Girl who takes one of his classes and shows up, like, religiously, like it's her job to come to school (which I guess it sort of is, if she's getting money from the government to study) and she hadn't been coming to class for a few days, which was EVEN MORE SUSPICIOUS. And Singing Dude tagged along because those three have ties of Fate now. Spooky. Count me out of being tied up by Fate. I ain't into that kinky shit.

So we ambled on out to St Marys ish where Nerd Produce Girl lived and discovered that yup, she had property with way more healthy crops than she probably should given the summer we'd just had. Jen did a cool magic-y thing and found out there was Fertility magic all over the place. Fertility with a capital Fer, like the Boon, but not like any particular power that the Boon has; just a bunch of Fertility all over, making giant potatoes. Nerd Girl Felicity also had a bunch of magical stuff inside. Some of it was shit and had post-its on it saying "this appears to be shit". Some of it was legit. And she had a wand that was totally legit but I don't think we took it, because we're goody-two-shoes or something.

What's a mortal doing with an actual for real magic wand, anyway?

Anyway, the human-shaped ones figured that she'd been kidnapped, because there was a scuffle or something in the kitchen and tire tracks out the front, and Jen did her "where in the fuck is Carmen Sandiego?" magic to figure out that we had to go to Bankstown, which is the worst.

So off we went to Bankstown, following the magical string that only Jen could see, and it occurs to me that if she wanted to she could probably get the boys to do some really stupid stuff based on "oh, yeah, the magic totally says it's this way" but she's probably too nice to do that.

So Produce Girl Felicity turned out to be locked up in a warehouse. Prettyboy talked to the warehouse because OF COURSE HE DID, I swear he gets on better with buildings than he does with people, and it unlocked its back door for us so we could go in all sneaky-like. And then there was a fight, during which we learned that Jen doesn't bring a knife to a gun fight, she brings a camera to a gun fight; Nerd Produce Girl Felicity knows some sort of karma magic; and I totally have Prettyboy's back when it comes to throwing myself at the face of the guy who was about to shoot him and suffocating him.

So there, Prettyboy.

Turned out there was some sort of cult calling themselves the Seekers of the Aegis, which is just A TOTALLY GREAT-SOUNDING NAME, really, not ominous at all. They were taking Felicity's blood, which again, totally great, not ominous at all. Jen got a bunch of photos and the guys called the cops and an ambulance because apparently getting proper authorities involved is something we do. I don't know. I went off to sit in the van and admire my boyleg underpants at that point.

Next up: who the fuck is abducting people and why the fuck does Felicity have Fertility power but not powers when she's not a Scion? Guess that's a question for Prettyboy to ask! And for me to eavesdrop on with popcorn.

- Thus end the further adventures of Prettyboy, Singing Guy, and Jen, as noted by Rupert the Tanuki



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